Relationship #024

I meant to post this on Tumblr but I think I'm going to ditch that site since it's been so unstable recently that, forget it, not worth it.

See what I meant to be posting about was one of those little things in a relationship that can turn everything upside down if not managed correctly. It's: "Forget it" (nono, don't stop reading yet, this IS the topic!).

When you're told to forget something, can you? Not really. Thoughts pass through our mind all the time, at the speed of light, maybe even faster, what makes them stick, is repeating them. So if I tell you something you will think this thought through once, unless I return there, you'll forget about it. But if I tell you to forget it, you will not only think of the thought again, but start thinking about it, creating connections between that thought and other thoughts. You will start wondering: "Why does he want me to forget? What could possible be the reason that something that doesn't matter has to be forgotten? That means it means something, right?" Once you connect a thought to your other thoughts it's no longer just a thought (that's a lot of thoughts, I know), thus creating a memory. Memories are hard to get rid of, they can stick for months, years or a lifetime. If it's a worry, it will stick until resolved and be added to the pile of resolved issues that you no longer worry about.

Worries, are essentially bad memories, created by thoughts that should have been forgotten but the human brain wants to solve problems, or challenges if you want.

In a relationship this all sums up to: If you don't want problems, don't make them. Either let it slip, or solve the problem right away, or you will get all the negative effects you most likely already know comes from worrying. Sad, but true.

Long Distance Relationships - A whole new world of fun!

Introduction
In this post I will summarize this whole LDR (Long Distance Relationship) business and talk a bit about why it is not as impossible as people might think at first glance. Do you wonder; "How do I find him/her?", "How do we manage our time?", "How can we stay in touch?", "What if...?" then read on. This is the first of many posts about this topic so stay tuned for more highly valuable information!

I have been in a few LDRs, so many that I now consider myself to know just about enough to share some of my wisdom with the interested readers. LDRs face many problems that at first glance may seem overwhelming, but it is my belief that the love you get in return is well worth it. According to science, the amount of girls that suit you out there is very limited. Though divorce seems very popular, getting things right in the first place is not just a wise choice, but also a lot less painful.

I found her! But...
...she lives a bajillion miles away? Fear not! It is not the end of the world, rather an opening to a new one (if this is your first shot). For every issue you will encounter there will be a solution. In a modern world like ours where internet is everywhere, the available means of communication are endless. Everything from simple e-mails to live video chatting is accessible anywhere, merely a matter of personal preferences.
From time to time you and your partner will want to see each other and maybe do more than just look. This is perfectly normal! You are not sick just because you want to have sex with a partner you have never met in person. Literally billions pay for getting the same kind of excitement you have found. Getting together has never been easier, well maybe before 9/11, but you will find that getting a plane ticket to whatever destination is probably a lot easier than expected. Considering you have already found a place to live and will get food for free, your vacation with your far-away love will be a lot cheaper. Your economic situation might not allow extravagant trips to the US, Europe or Asia right now, but in time there will be space for it. Keep an eye on my blog as I will post more about this later on!

Long Distance - a part of the fun!
To me the "Long Distance" part of an LDR is some of its main beauty. This will be a major topic in one of my later posts, that I can assure you. Getting tired of eachother is one of the main causes for couples to split or divorce. The relationship may simply get boring. Though my view is that if this happens, you were not 'meant to be' in the first place, LDRs rarely suffer from this as when you are together, you will enjoy that time so much more.

Can I join?
LDR's are for everyone. If you like to have everything planned by schedule you can find a partner that feels the same way and schedule when you will be talking together. If you treasure spontanious video chatting, longer periods of time alone, always being in touch or... Whatever your personal preferences are, there are people like you out there somewhere.

Come back for more as well as in-depth talks about specific topics. Please leave a comment and suggest topics if there is something specific you would like an opinion on.