Relationship #024

I meant to post this on Tumblr but I think I'm going to ditch that site since it's been so unstable recently that, forget it, not worth it.

See what I meant to be posting about was one of those little things in a relationship that can turn everything upside down if not managed correctly. It's: "Forget it" (nono, don't stop reading yet, this IS the topic!).

When you're told to forget something, can you? Not really. Thoughts pass through our mind all the time, at the speed of light, maybe even faster, what makes them stick, is repeating them. So if I tell you something you will think this thought through once, unless I return there, you'll forget about it. But if I tell you to forget it, you will not only think of the thought again, but start thinking about it, creating connections between that thought and other thoughts. You will start wondering: "Why does he want me to forget? What could possible be the reason that something that doesn't matter has to be forgotten? That means it means something, right?" Once you connect a thought to your other thoughts it's no longer just a thought (that's a lot of thoughts, I know), thus creating a memory. Memories are hard to get rid of, they can stick for months, years or a lifetime. If it's a worry, it will stick until resolved and be added to the pile of resolved issues that you no longer worry about.

Worries, are essentially bad memories, created by thoughts that should have been forgotten but the human brain wants to solve problems, or challenges if you want.

In a relationship this all sums up to: If you don't want problems, don't make them. Either let it slip, or solve the problem right away, or you will get all the negative effects you most likely already know comes from worrying. Sad, but true.

Students invented the wheel

After reading this blog post you will be aware of how to efficiently evaluate your own communication. The example used here is the student <-> teacher relationship, but it applies everywhere. These findings are based on extensive research over several years as a student, noticing what works, and what does not. As usual I will do my best to concise with my text here. I do not need to write things over and over again, I will leave it to you to read it, over and over again.


Teachers have this perception that when students do not listen, it is because they are communicating in the wrong way. Did it not occur to them that it does not have to be how, but what you communicate, that is wrong. I am not talking about your indirect communication such as body language etc. I will leave that to another day, because for now we will focus on what you are telling your listeners.


Is it something they already know? If yes, do not tell them again. Most common mistake from teachers is to tell what the students have already read. By doing so, you directly motivate the students not to read, I will show you the math:
Teacher gives student homework -> Student reads homework -> Teacher tells student what he just read for homework -> Student is bored -> Student stops reading homework, because:


Students will be bored during classes since they already know what the teacher is telling them. There is no point doing something twice (read and have the lecturer read aloud), and students see this connection. In addition they stop listening because they also know that should they need this knowledge, they can just read the book later.


What a teacher needs to do is simple:
Take what you expect the students to learn from the books (theory, models etc.) and give them assignments that require this knowledge. If a student does not do his homework it is no longer your responsibility that this student is behind in class.


Please comment and share if you like, I'll be happy to respond to any inquiries.

The Pareto Principle

What is it?

The principle that 80% of effects come from 20% of causes.

How to use it?

We can use this to find the most effective causes and raise or lower the percentage.

How does it work?

Business example: Delivering the same service to all costumers is a waste since 80% of the costumers only give us 20% of the profits. Thus we should analyze our product range using this matrix:

High	(1) Seek cost reduction	(2) Provide high availability
Low	(3) Review	(4) Centralized inventory
Volume/Profit	Low	High

1. Seek cost reduction either in production or logistics.
2. Provide high availability by making sure customers can easily get their hands on your product.
3. Review: Consider whether the product is even worth keeping as part of your product range and/or what can be done to increase volume/profit.
4. Keep your products in one place to lower fixed costs and ship to costumers from this location.

Where does it apply?

EVERYWHERE! Look around you and try to find things where the Pareto Principle can be applied. The percentages does not have to be exactly 20 and 80, 30/70 or 10/90 is fine too. It's the principle that a majority of effects comes from a minority of causes. It applies in relationships; 80% of arguments are based on 20% of the problems, and power consumption; 80% of the electricity used in your apartment comes from 20% of your little gadgets, bits and bobs (Usually computer/TV).

Feel free to copy these notes for personal usage, but don't leave without making comment

PlayStation 3 Media Server on Mac OS X Snow Leopard

I was looking for a guide on how to install PMS (PlayStation Media Server) on my Macbook Pro, but after hours of searching I found nothing. The reason for this is that it turned out to be so simple that no guide should be needed. However, if you're in the same situation as me, here are some tips, or rather a short HowTo on installing and running PMS on Mac OS X (proved to work with Snow Leopard at least).

1. Download the latest beta of PMS here.
2. Turn on both your Mac and your PS3.
3. Connect to the same network, wired or wireless.
4. On your PS3, go to "Settings" -> "Network Settings" -> "Media Server Connection" and make sure this option is "Enabled".
5. Run PS3 Media Server on your Mac and wait for it to connect to your PS3.

I'll keep the list short and simple, if you need further help or encounter any issues I suggest browsing the PMS forums :D This is where you should look for help on how to use PMS as well.

At land, sea or air? – You can work anywhere!

Telecommuting and flexible work practices are becoming more and more popular in today’s modern information and technology based society. Production has been outsourced to eastern countries and the need of the employee to be physically ‘at work’ has diminished.

Is telecommuting for you?

When everything you need from your employer comes via an email or a call on the phone, and the job you do is on the computer or phone, there should be no need, to be ‘at work’ physically. Many modern companies have learned this and have introduced flexible work practices to cater the needs of their employees. There are many pros and cons to be taken in consideration when determining if your company is fit for flexible work practices. Below you can read more about the different aspects of flexible work practices and decide if your company could benefit from telecommuting.

Telecommuting – a lifestyle

Flexible work practices can be used in several ways to cater a worker’s needs. Meeting late, or early, is for some the ideal plan. But ‘flexibility’ extends way beyond just working hours; why not use the phone and internet now that they are there? With today’s technology, it is possible to work almost anywhere, especially in large cities, where WiFi-hotspots are increasingly available.

Depending on the specific situation, telecommuting can quickly become a very important part of an employee’s, manager’s or employer’s life, and private and work-lives will merge to become one. Given the chance to work at home, and nothing more than deadlines and specific goals, you can do many of the things you wish you had better time to do on a daily basis. Parents will have more time for their kids, take them to school and help them with their homework. They can be picked up right after school, whether they are off at 11 am or 4 pm should no longer matter, you can go straight back to work once you get home.

Flexible working practices are as mentioned not limited by the home. Some people merely require a phone, their computer and an internet connection. With laptops, cellphones and WiFi-hotspots available in many major cities, airports, trains and buses, the world has practically everyone’s working place, as long as they are willing to take the plunge.

The good

Happy employees work faster, are more thorough with their work and combined with flexibility, employees can work when they feel their motivation is peaking, which in the end gives every a better result for everyone. Employees will no longer have to leave work to get their favorite cup of coffee from the local Starbucks, they can sit there all day if they like to. They can go visit friends and drive early to a meeting with a customer and work in the car, using a mobile modem or their iPhone as an internet connection. Employers will see that they can call their employees almost any time of the day and have work-related issues solved within minutes, as the employee will have everything he or she needs right by his or her side, and not be limited by time and space.

The requirements for all these positive effects will be discussed in detail in the section below.

The not-so-good and must-be-taken-care-offs 

When working out, there is no water cooler, no oasis to go to and catch a random friendly conversation with your co-workers at. This must be made up for by encouraging employees to keep in contact with each other as well as the manager. To make sure that this is done effectively, IBM did some studies within their company and found that that contact should be made at least every third day, or else people will lose contact with one another, and social life will suffer. Hence they created the 3-day rule, requiring teams to set up meeting every 3 days, not necessarily to talk about work, but to make sure they keep contact. Another vital issue is the contact between the employee and the employer, setting up meetings to make sure everything is working out fine is important. Keeping track of everything is important, though the manager must avoid making it seem, as if he or she is keeping a constant eye on the employee.

With telecommuting, trust is very important.

Delegating responsibility and assignments will help the manager work more efficiently, while the employee will feel that his or her work is increasingly important to the company. This will help employees to feel more motivated. How important the previous statements may be, the following is even more so.

Clarity 

Above all, clear goals and ambitions for the employee and company are of utmost importance. For a company to experience success with telecommuting, clarity is the word to remember. When delegating assignments and setting new goals for an employee, you must make sure that the message will get through as you want it to be. When face-to-face talks are out, and conference calls and emails are in, you need to make sure that your employee fully comprehends the messages given. Urge employees to ask questions, if any, before making mistakes, the manager should be no more than an email, text or phone call away.

To be or not to be – at work or home? 

Telecommuting is not for everyone, it requires adaptive employees as well as employers. However, if the requirements are met, it provides a very good opportunity for the company to keep their employees satisfied with their work, as they are practically shaping it themselves. Telecommuting requires the company to set up clear policies and procedures, as well as maintain a strong management.

With telecommuting, work is more about the goal, than how you get there… can you manage?

Please contact the author before any use or reference, all rights reserved.

This text was originally written as part of my English exam at IBC, and has not been edited.